My sweet Katie I continue to be more proud of you each day! You are a silent warrior against the autism that makes your life difficult, and you battle well against the toxins that are constantly forced into your body.
This year you finished Kindergarten and you just started 1st Grade. You potty trained during winter break - your biggest milestone since the autism diagnosis! You went from being confused and not understanding the process at the beginning of break to wearing underwear 100% of the time at school in just 2 weeks. An unbelievable 2 weeks later you were done with pullups and I celebrated so much for you! I do not understand why all these seemingly little things are so difficult for you, but I am SO proud of the little girl you have become and how determined you are to succeed!
You completed all your reading and math requirements at grade level in kindergarten; continuing to prove to the world that you're every bit as intelligent as I've always known you to be. You worked hard to increase muscle tone and became an avid climber all over the playground. Learning the routines of school was not very difficult for you and much to my dismay you discovered sneakiness. You are clever and observant - people often underestimate how aware you are, but I know you! I am proud of all of that that God has gifted you with, even when with it comes the added complexity of teaching you right from wrong. Sneaking back into the cafeteria to take food during recess became quite a problem last school year! It wasn't safe for you to be doing that, but despite the obvious concerns I had you showed everyone just how creative and ingenious you are! You are smart, really smart, and your awareness of the attention of others goes completely contrary to autism. You watch, you wait, you observe that moment, and then you take action. Your determination and perseverance will serve you well as you continue to grow and become the person God designed you to be.
Katie, you continue to surprise me and bring joy to my life. Being your Mommy is my #1 job and I will fight for you forever! I LOVE our kisses at bedtime; I adore how you grab my head and insist I kiss you repeatedly. I love the way you hug me and how you're working to show me that you need hugs instead of deep pressure squeezes. You have worked so hard to add words to your communication and I am amazed by the phrases that you sometimes say. Just yesterday you said, "Oh no!" It wasn't that long ago that you could not say the word "no" at all. The way you read with such accuracy and the way you guess at big words based upon the pictures makes it clear that you're comprehending it all. Your teachers have difficulty testing your comprehension; however, I've never doubted it! I love your sweet voice and listening to you read aloud. I love hearing you sing! I love that you enjoy certain routine things and insist upon what you want - using your voice to get it! I especially love hearing you pray and sing worship songs to the God who made you!!!
You are my Katie Bear and I have learned so much from you already in these 7 short years. I can't wait to see what God has in store for the next one! In spite of everything being so difficult this year you have persevered. Your ATEC score dropped from 72 to 46 in just 12 months (August). Your eye contact has improved tremendously and you respond quickly when your name is called! I no longer stand over you while you sleep and cry as I pray - I have hope! You have shown me that the things we are doing together are indeed working!
Therapies - any and all - you meet them with compliance and willingness to do your best. I am really hopeful for the biomedical therapies we're working with this year. I am thrilled that you were able to start equine therapy which I believe is actually just really fun for us both! The ABA has been great for you and I owe Dr. Dixon a debt of gratitude, and your new speech therapy seems to be working well. I don't know how you have the energy to go to school all day, do kid stuff, and complete all these therapies but I'm so happy you do! Fish Oil - I dreaded giving it to you, I don't like fishy stuff, but you have made it so easy. Just like your enzymes and medication you have never given me a reason to feel badly - thank you!
I love when we get alone time, and I'm so sorry there isn't more of it. I enjoy watching you draw objects for me, I am thrilled to catch you playing with toys, I love when you read to me, and my favorite things is to see you smile! Oh that giggle of yours - I don't hear it nearly enough, but that true giggle you have had since you were a baby brings me great joy!
Katie I know I don't get to sit and tell you all these things that you deserve to hear, but one day my hope is that you'll read these letters and know above all else I have loved you tremendously EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. of you life! When most Mommies get to snuggle and play I'm making healthy food, researching new treatments, and running you to therapies. I am so sorry I can't just play with you and our lives are no longer zoo trips and playground visits. I am so sorry that your life is so difficult and full of stress. I wish I had known when you were a baby all that I do now about antibiotics and vaccines! Even though I'm not always playing and snuggling you, I want you to know I'm fighting for your future - this looks different than the fun Mommy I planned to be, but my love for you is greater than I ever thought possible.
My dreams for your life have not changed since the moment I knew you were growing inside me. I still expect you to go to college, to love Jesus, to find a wonderful prince and get married if you desire. I hope you have babies who make you as happy as you make me! I believe in you Katie and I am SO blessed to be called Mommy by you!
I love you sweetheart. Happy 7th Birthday!
Love,
Mommy
